Football Forum | Ticket Forum | Off-Topic Forum | All

Blunders 11:01 Tue Nov 4
What's the key to long term relationships?

After 7 years (4 and half of living together), my girlfriend and I split up at the weekend, and she's moved back to her parents. I'm 29, she's 27.

Her reasons, which I can't really argue with, are that we've drifted apart, it's not the same relationship, not in love with each other anymore and both deserve to be with people who can make us happier than we are now. And I accept that over the last 2 years or so it hasn't been right, we've kind of coexisted, settled if you like.

When we first got together it was the usual thing- we were inseparable. Like one person. But to use the old saying, slowly the spark went out.

At the minute its all quite amicable, after all we've got a house and pets to sort out. It's just so sad that something so good can fizzle out.

How DO you keep that spark going? Or does everyone end up settling and (if you're the kind of person who can) just make the best of it? My parents for example can barely stand each other, but they've been married for 50 years now so they've got to the point in life when it's easier just to co-exist.


And no, I'm not providing any links to my ex, you dirty cunts.

Eggbert Nobacon 11:05 Tue Nov 4
Re: What's the key to long term relationships?

cheating

Lily Hammer 11:05 Tue Nov 4
Re: What's the key to long term relationships?

Avoiding Disney type stories of princes and princesses living happily ever after is a good foundatio for any relationship in the real world.

worm 11:06 Tue Nov 4
Re: What's the key to long term relationships?

Learn to fuck her properly

joe royal 11:08 Tue Nov 4
Re: What's the key to long term relationships?

It either works or it doesn't , no magic formula , but no point staying with someone that makes you unhappy

Monk~koknee 11:10 Tue Nov 4
Re: What's the key to long term relationships?

The ability to compromise and low expectations.

cholo 11:11 Tue Nov 4
Re: What's the key to long term relationships?

Lowering expectations as the years go by...

WHOicidal Maniac 11:15 Tue Nov 4
Re: What's the key to long term relationships?

There is no 'key' to a long term relationship.

You either get lucky or you dont. Its not about sharing interests, although helpful, its about sharing long term goals and putting up with each others shit...

BetterthanKaka 11:15 Tue Nov 4
Re: What's the key to long term relationships?

Sorry to hear that, Blunders son.

Been with my bird for almost 7 years now, lived together for the last 18 months. Not easy and the 'co-exist' aspect is interesting.

We try and do different things, go to different places etc. Not easy, but it's almost impossible to keep the same spark.

Hugh Monteith 11:19 Tue Nov 4
Re: What's the key to long term relationships?

Its not about the length of the relationship
Its about the content

Ricky Bobby 11:20 Tue Nov 4
Re: What's the key to long term relationships?

Mine ended after 24 years, she decided to accept the advances of a work colleague.... She is regretting it now but I will never (NEVER) have her back.

I have a new partner but I have told her from day 1 that I will never marry again.... Accept it or not, up to you!

We are cool.

Steve P 11:22 Tue Nov 4
Re: What's the key to long term relationships?

Birds pull that sort of stunt when there's someone else queuing up.

brick_lane_batty_boy 11:22 Tue Nov 4
Re: What's the key to long term relationships?

It really is just easier to stick the pads on and go and bat for the other side.

I imagine it to be such an easy life. Same interests, same urges, same ideas of a good night out.

You can chill out with each other, bit of ruff and tumble if that's your way, few pints, curry then back home for an epic rattle.

HairySpotter 11:25 Tue Nov 4
Re: What's the key to long term relationships?

get fucking out of ur system then settle for someone who makes u feel ok on a daily basis.

everyone cheats. but if they are not emotionally attached then they excuse this cheating in their heads and will swear blind they never did it.

kids usually are the reason couples stay together. love is bollox. convenience is everything

Lily Hammer 11:26 Tue Nov 4
Re: What's the key to long term relationships?

brick_lane_batty_boy 11:22 Tue Nov 4

Ha! great post.

I can almost dig that, I've often thought that gayers have it good in that way, like to shag alot with less nagging (I think), but I can't quite get into the idea of doing a man's hairy bum, especially if there is curry and lager waiting to come out.

brick_lane_batty_boy 11:29 Tue Nov 4
Re: What's the key to long term relationships?

Have to see past the nuts and bolts of it...

I believe waxing to be the key...

BRANDED 11:34 Tue Nov 4
Re: What's the key to long term relationships?

I' ve been with my wife for 34 years since I was 19. You have to work at it every day. There will always be greener grass but what you get from a long term relationship is never ever possible in a short term one. Difference between lust/infatuation and love. Open, honest and sharing relationships are bith hard and rewarding.

IsaacHock 11:36 Tue Nov 4
Re: What's the key to long term relationships?

The following is all my opinion of course, and as such may not be universally applicable. With that in mind, I consider these to be the golden rules:-

1. Above all else, don't spend too much time with each other. Have your own friends, distinct from your shared ones. Don't work together. The secret to long-distance relationships is that you spend a smaller proportion of your time together, and prize the moments you do share as a result. This can be applied to regular relationships to a lesser extent.

2. Adjust your expectations. There is a difference between a Disney movie and your home movies. Go into a relationship with your eyes open and realistic expectations and you may be able to make it work.

3. Hock's Theorum - RSR = 1/FBP

Allow me to expand. Relationship Success Rate = 1/Number of Facebook posts about how in love you are. Based on empirical evidence, the more posts you make professing your love for your partner, the less time you are likely to be together. Mrs Hock gets a relatively unsentimental 'Happy Anniversary' once a year. Compare and contrast with some of her Facebook friends with their 'Bae just gave me his last Rolo #2getha4eva #SoInLoveRightNow' who never seem to go over 6 months. Do the relationship for the two of you, not for an audience.

4. It gets better with time (or at least it should). We now have a shared portfolio of holidays, experiences, children, memories etc. She knows how I think, she knows how I act and she adjusts her own behaviour accordingly (as do I). Frankly, I don't have the energy or inclination to replicate that with anyone else. Maybe I ddn't mean it gets better with time, maybe I just meant that inertia sets in.

I didn't promise you a rose garden, but that's what has kept the Hocks together for 15 years.

ironsofcanada 11:38 Tue Nov 4
Re: What's the key to long term relationships?

Marriage was important for me but I am old fashioned in most ways.

That being said, new shared experiences in all areas of life. Living new places, starting new hobbies together, learning or reading books at the same time. You have to have thing that are your own of course but if not willing share time a lot, you might not be with the right person.

Has worked for me so far, going on seven years of marriage. But very much just my two cents.

penners28 11:39 Tue Nov 4
Re: What's the key to long term relationships?

lad i work with is gay. he reckons its brilliant. they both like football, going out etc. when they go shopping there is no fucking waiting around outside changing rooms. plus they tend to give up halfway through and go for a beer.

Ricky Bobby 11:40 Tue Nov 4
Re: What's the key to long term relationships?

brick_lane_batty_boy 11:22 Tue Nov 4

My partners son is a woofter


Dislikes:

Football
Lager
Curry

Likes:

Ru Paul
Glee
Spritzers
Mincing

I cannot see it working TBH.

Page 1 - Next